I hit a wall today, I finally accepted that Mom will never hold her grandchildren. I knew in my heart that she'd never hold them but my mind finally let me know that too. I looked into my sons little face and just cried. He'll never know grandma's smell, voice or touch. The same things my daughter will never know.
I think what caused the breakdown was Hubby's class reunion is this weekend, he ask his parents to watch the kids for a couple of hours and they told him that they had a picnic to go to and that they couldn't watch them. Well in a couple of weeks my in-laws will be nagging that they don't get to spend much time with their grandchildren but it is what it is. I'd give anything to be able to call my mom and see if she could watch the kids for us.
I guess I just have different views on life and I'm not going to change them for anything. In the 10-years I've known my in-laws its always been this way.
I miss you mom, I wish you were here to hold your grandchildren and give them all the love you could possibly give.
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