Wow 5 weeks left

So I have 5 weeks left in my second pregnancy - scared???? Yes, I'm terrified, anxious, worried and ready all at the same time.

I worry about my 2 year old daughter and what is going on in her little mind, if she's going to feel pushed to the side once this baby arrives. I wonder how she'll do when I'm in the hospital for a few days. What she's going to think of the new member of the family!

I terrified of labor & delivery this time, I was completely calm during my daughters birth, I was ready the day the doctor said "its time to induce". I drove to work knowing what the next 24 hours held - I knew that in less than 48 hours I would be holding my precious little girl.

I'm anxious to meet my son, to hold him, kiss him and give him just as much love as we give our daughter.

I miss my mom - I want her there with me when he comes into this world red, blue, gunky and screaming. I want her to witness his first breath, his first cry (scream) and to hold my hand and tell me how beautiful he is. I will never have that experience, my mom passed away 9 years ago at the hands of her husband.

I was never able to tell my mom she was going to be a grandma, that I was getting married, that I love my husband more than any man in this world (with the exception of my grandpa). That I was in love with a precious little girl that holds my heart in the palm of her sticky little hand. That I fell in love with the boy my husband and I created together and I have yet to see his little face or hold him in my arms.