4 Days and Counting

I have 4 days left until this baby is supposed to be here. I've tried everything natural to get him to come out already and apparently he's nice and comfy in there.

I've gone into panic mode, I know my grandma is keeping my daughter while I'm in the hospital but I've never been away from her more than a day and night. She's my love bug and I'm going to go crazy when I can't cuddle with her before bed or give her a shower and wash her hair. Its the things that I do daily that I'll have trouble not being able to do during my hospital stay. Although I have to admit I am so looking forward to the day I can bend over and shave my legs in the shower without getting winded or looking like I'm super flexible.

My hubby upset his mother the other day and I sorta feel bad but at the same time I don't. In he beginning of this pregnancy he thought I said I wanted her, my grandma and him in the delivery room. I know I said I only wanted him and I - well he ask her to be there. I made him tell her she is not wanted there and we'll call when we are ready for visitors - well that threw her into a childish fit and she hasn't bothered with us all week. Part of me feels guilty for making him tell her she's not wanted there but then part of me feels like she shouldn't assume that is what I wanted. I've said it in front of plenty of people that I want this (our last baby) to be an experience my husband and I have together, I want us to bond with him and our daughter before we get the mounds of unwelcomed visitors that stay for hours on end.

I also don't want anyone at the hospital sitting in the waiting room waiting for a peek at the precious child. I want him and his sister to have a special meeting and I want her to be the first person in our families to meet and see him. Granted my daughter is almost 3 and probably doesn't understand half of what I want or the changes that are going on but still this is what I want and afterall its my body that is going to be distorted and stretched beyond anything for a while, its my body that is going to be doing all the work and its my body that has carried and cared for this baby for the last 40 weeks. I think I have a say in what happens with my newborn child.

Plus since I know people are childish and would ignore all my wishes and wants I've registered as a Private Patient for L & D. Sneaky yeah but you'd have to know my family and my in-laws, the only people in my family that would be able to get through to me is going to be my grandparents since they will have my daughter and its important that I be able to say good night to my sweetheart before she goes to bed - even if I'm in labor I want to say goodnight to her - I've done it every night since the day she was born and I'm not going to miss one night.