Friday, October 31, 2008

Something's not right

I've noticed in the past several weeks that something is off in me, I'm not myself. I'm not an overly happy person on the outside, I have a lot of trouble trusting people and showing emotions of happiness.

I have two beautiful children, an amazing husband, a home, a family that loves me and I love them, a job and I'm healthy and so is my family. Despite all that I have I'm still sad, I find myself in tears while icing cup cakes, when I'm prepping a client file at work, feeding my son or just being with my family.

Tonight I was going to take some stuff over to my aunts house for her granddaughters. I wanted my uncle to meet my son since he'll be 8 weeks and he hasn't had the opportunity to yet. When I called to see if they'd be home I was greeted by my aunt who was very pleasant and found out my uncle is still out on the road and he'll be home Sunday. No problem - but as soon as I hung up from her I cried.

I need adult interaction, I need to spend my evenings with someone over the age of 3 (almost 11/5). My husband has been working until 9:00pm and he gets home around 10:00pm - the married single mom thing is getting old.

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